What I Learned

I learned that…

…if you can’t tie a knot, tie a lot.

…when you’re hungry, even raw pancake batter can be yummy.

…when looking at a dark campsite with your headlamp, all those reflective bits from bikes and gear look really spooky. Especially if you have a red light option on your headlamp.

…the one night out of 13 that you don’t put the rain fly on, it will rain on you in your sleep.

…mosquitoes will only bite the one person in a group that has bothered to put on bug spray.

…margarine packets from a restaurant don’t need to be refrigerated, but they do need to be packed AWAY from any and all electrical components.

…people will look at you funny when you’re an adult carrying a stuffed monkey around.

…kids love to sit on motorcycles if they’re parents say it’s ok.

…a trip to Wal-Mart with four people will take at least an hour and a half, no matter how little time you can afford to spend there.

…adding flavored non-dairy creamer powder to hot cocoa is yummy, but it’s not as yummy when the container opens and gets on everything else and makes even dinner taste like French vanilla.

…it takes four people to wash and dry two bowls and four cups without them getting dirty again.

…we all look funny with three inches of denim sticking out the bottom of our riding pants.

…a few extra packets of crackers from the table at the restaurant will become breakfast the next morning when you just add some military-issue cheese.

…ramen noodles are good, but beef stroganoff is better.

…you can make an apple/oatmeal upside-down cake out of very few ingredients and resources when your sweet tooth just won’t quit.

…some people just don’t like oatmeal no matter what you do to it.

…ascending 4000 feet in elevation in less than an hour can cause the temperature to drop and the scenery to overload your senses.

…the locals are the best resource for finding places to eat.

…Arizona state parks suck and New Mexico state parks kick butt!

…if you forget to bring your military ID card, an ordained minister card will still get the 10% discount at most hotels and motels.

…you should never forget your military ID card when on a trip.

…even if you come back with only what you left with, it won’t be packed nearly as efficiently on the bike as when you started.

…if your eyes are glued to the GPS screen looking for someplace to eat/stay/refuel, you’ll pass all the restaurants/motels/gas stations that aren’t listed with Garmin.

…if the sun is setting, it’s getting cold, you’re tired and want a place to sleep, you won’t be able to find a campsite or cheap motel room for at least thirty more miles.

…if the washboard gravel road you’re on looks like it gets better in the distance, it doesn’t. That’s a mirage. Whatever you do, don’t wave the rest of your street bike-riding friends down there into the trap with you.

…hand signals only work when everyone knows what the signal means.

…custom-molded earplugs should be made with reflective material. Second best is bright fluorescent orange, so that when one falls off your bike while riding through three miles of park entrance roads, you can go back and find it again in the dark.

…a Wolf will beat a rabbit every time.

…condensation happens even in the driest of deserts.

…when three people with filthy minds come across a perverted scene created by nature, the fourth tries to pretend she doesn’t see it.

…nobody can get the dam park fee out of the dam deposit box other than the dam park ranger who isn’t coming back until the next day.

…nobody will let four tired bikers camp on the lawn behind their RV park office.

…taking a trip with three friends for fourteen days can either make you better friends or bitter enemies. I’ll let you know what the outcome for this trip was after I decide…